“What the heck am I supposed to do with my life?!”
How many times have you thought some version of that statement and still no answer came?
Well, that changes today.
Purpose is a naturally ambiguous concept:
What is purpose?
How do we define it?
How do we start adding more purpose, direction, and clarity to our lives, even if we have no clue what to do right now?
How do we figure out what we really want to do with our lives?
Even when we know what we want, how do we make it a reality?
My intention with this article is to answer these questions and give you a step-by-step framework you can follow to start your journey right now and navigate it successfully.
This article is primarily for people who don’t know what to do with their lives right now or are ready for a change.
It’s also for people who know what they want and have taken some action on it but feel stuck and aren’t sure how to progress to the next stage of the journey.
To shed light on this subject, we will use a framework I call The 5 Stages of Purpose.
By the time you finish this article, you will understand:
Which stage of purpose you’re in.
What to expect in each stage of the journey so you’re prepared for it.
The best mindset and attitude to help you navigate each stage successfully.
What to focus your energy on each step of the way so you don’t get distracted or sidetracked.
And how to progress to the next stage (and beyond) to make consistent, continuous progress in your life.
If you’ve been frustrated not knowing what to do with your life until this point, you’re tired of what you’ve been doing and you’re ready for a change, or you don’t know how to progress to the next stage of your journey…
This is the guide you’ve been looking for.
Let’s dive in:
Table of Contents
What Are The 5 Stages of Purpose?
The 5 Stages of Purpose are:
Stage 1 – Lost and Confused
Stage 2 – Self-Discovery
Stage 3 – The Wall of Fear and Insecurity
Stage 4 – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Stage 5 – You’re on Your Path
Most people who go from not knowing what to do with their lives to living fully in their purpose, passion, mission, and calling go through a version of these five stages.
I’ve also created a quote for each stage that sums up how most people think/feel while navigating each stage.
They are:
Stage 1 – “I don’t know what to do.”
Stage 2 – “I’m learning about who I am and what I want.”
Stage 3 – “I’m afraid to take the leap of faith” and/or “I’m not good enough.”
Stage 4 – “I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
Stage 5 – “I’m on my path.”
The 5 Stages of Purpose will help you go from “I don’t know what to do” to “I’m on my path.”
They will help you go from feeling lost and confused about what to do with your life to knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, what you want to do and how to make it a reality.
These stages are for figuring out what you really want to do with your life mostly in a professional sense.
You will be able to answer questions like:
What type of work will make me the happiest?
What does purposeful work mean to me?
How do I find and follow my passion?
How do I find and do work that gives me the freedom to do everything I want to do in life?
How do I figure out what my life goals are and how to achieve them?
There are many layers of purpose in our lives, but these stages are about finding and doing purposeful work that fulfills you, energizes you, and gives you everything you desire.
How to Use The Stages of Purpose to Figure Out Where You Are In Your Journey and What To Do Next
The 5 Stages of Purpose are meant to be used as a guideline to help you understand where you are in your journey and how to make progress.
Everyone’s journey is different. You may encounter different things than what I’ve mentioned, or your journey may follow this framework perfectly.
But the idea in reading this article is to increase your awareness, even just a little bit, because that’s ultimately what this journey is about.
They feel like they have no goal. They feel like they have no purpose to work towards.
However, that’s not true.
Their goal is to figure out what their goal is. Their purpose is to figure out what their purpose is.
Just that small piece of awareness starts the ball rolling. It begins the momentum to start progressing through that stage and onto the next one.
Your purpose, or what you really want to do in life, is just another part of you.
It’s already within you, right this very second.
It is you.
If you don’t know what that is yet, it just means it’s a part of you that you aren’t aware of yet.
All you’re doing is becoming aware of who you really are on the inside and learning how to act on that self-knowledge to live in alignment with it.
That’s the journey in a nutshell.
The 5 Stages of Purpose (And How to Navigate Them)
Let’s breakdown each stage of the journey with a description of each stage, what to expect, the best mindset and attitude to have, what to focus your energy on, and how to progress to the next stage:
Stage 1 – Lost and Confused
“I don’t know what to do.”
People in Stage 1 have no clue what to do with their lives.
They’re often following someone else’s wishes for them instead of their own, and they often feel deeply frustrated and troubled by their lack of clarity.
Stage 1 tends to feel like the most difficult stage. It feels like you’re living life in the dark.
You have this intense desire for something more but no idea what it is or how to figure out what it is.
Many people feel helpless at this stage, and that is a difficult place to be.
But all is not lost. In fact, this is just the beginning.
It is the beginning of what could become one of the most empowering and fulfilling journeys you take in life.
Let’s talk about what to expect as you navigate the first stage of the purpose journey:
What to Expect in Stage 1
In Stage 1, you can expect to feel pretty crappy a lot of the time.
Not having clarity about what to do with your life can produce feelings of stress, anxiety, worry, and frustration.
You may see other people your age or younger who seem to have things figured out, and when you compare yourself to them it just makes you feel worse.
In this stage, you can expect to feel like you’re bouncing around aimlessly, following someone else’s purpose you didn’t choose and/or doing work or following a path you don’t like and that doesn’t resonate with who you are at your core.
Many people feel like they’re alone in this stage.
However, this isn’t actually true, either.
Tons of people around the world are in this stage. I’ve received lots of emails from people who don’t know what to do with their lives and are feeling frustrated by it.
So while you may feel like you’re alone in Stage 1, you’re actually with perhaps millions of people who are also feeling lost and confused about what to do with their lives.
That being said…
It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up, and start building positive momentum toward figuring this stuff out.
I may not know what to do with my life right now, and I may feel frustrated and annoyed by that, but I’m making a promise to myself that I will figure this stuff out.
I may not know how it’s going to happen or when it’s going to happen, but I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself and I’m going to start empowering myself to make the changes I want to make in my life.
Some way, somehow, I will find the clarity I’m seeking. I know this could become one of the most empowering journeys I ever take in my life, and I’m excited to see how it unfolds.
This mindset takes you from the negative, pessimistic attitude of most people in this stage to a new, positive, and empowering attitude that can help you make progress.
Any negative or pessimistic attitude is only going to hold you back. It’s only going to make it more difficult for you to figure out what to do.
You have no one else to blame but you for your negative attitude. It’s your attitude, after all, and you have the power to change your attitude.
Make a decision right now to adopt a positive, empowering, and optimistic attitude about the path ahead of you.
This will lay the foundation for you to navigate all of the other stages with strength and power.
What to Focus Your Energy On in Stage 1
Here’s what to focus your energy on in Stage 1 so you can make the quickest progress to Stage 2:
First, recognize that even in Stage 1 you have a purpose and a goal already.
You already have some clarity, even if you think you don’t.
That clarity is this:
Your purpose is to figure out what your purpose is. Your goal is to figure out what your goal is. And you can tackle it just like any other goal.
The first step to tackling any goal is to set the goal itself.
Set a goal to figure out what you want to do with your life.
Consciously decide that you’re going to work towards figuring out what your purpose is, what your passion is, what your mission is, what your calling is, or whatever layer of purpose you’re looking for.
That’s it. That’s all there is to focus your energy on at this stage.
You just need to make a definite decision that you’re going to move out of any negative, pessimistic attitudes you may hold.
Then make a decision to take persistent, continuous action toward figuring out where you want to go in life.
Then you’ll be ready to start progressing to Stage 2.
How to Progress to Stage 2
All you need to do to progress from Lost and Confused to the Self-Discovery stage is this:
Recognize that all of the answers you’re seeking are already within you and that the path to discovering them is the path of self-discovery.
Everything you seek is already within you. Once you understand and believe this, you’re ready to begin the journey of self-discovery.
You’re ready to begin the journey of discovering:
What excites you most in life.
What you love doing.
What you’re best at.
What you want to get good at.
What your gifts and talents are.
What interests you the most.
What type of work fulfills you and excites you the most.
What type of lifestyle you want to live.
Who you want to help and how you want to help them.
What your top values are in life.
What you’re most passionate about.
What work would be most meaningful to you.
How you can make a living doing what you love.
What life goals you want to achieve.
The challenges you want to face when it comes to your work.
Or whatever it is that excites you the most about your purpose, your passion, and your life’s direction.
When you have consciously decided to figure out what you want to do with your life…
…and when you recognize that all of the answers you’re seeking are already within you…
…and that the path to discovering them is the path of self-discovery…
Then you are ready to progress to Stage 2 – Self-Discovery.
Stage 2 – Self-Discovery
“I’m learning about who I am and what I want.”
Inscribed upon the entrance to the Temple of Apollo in Ancient Greece were two of the most important words ever written:1
“Know thyself.”
In Stage 2, you will get to “know thyself” better than you ever have before, and this clarity will light up your path for the rest of your days.
Stage 2 is where the fun really begins.
It’s where you start to have lightbulb moments about who you are, what you want, and where you want your life to go.
This is the stage of Self-Discovery because it’s about discovering what’s already within you.
You’re going to take a deep dive into your personality, your wants, your desires, and the different layers that make up who you are.
The only reason you don’t know what to do with your life yet is because you don’t know yourself well enough yet.
The more you know yourself, the easier it is to know what you want to do with your life.
Once you know yourself well enough, your purpose becomes so obvious that you won’t be able to ignore it.
That’s the goal of Stage 2.
To know yourself so well you can’t help but follow what you are truly meant to do.
What to Expect in Stage 2
In Stage 2, you can expect to do a lot of introspective work and soul-searching.
You might dig deep into your past, as far back as your childhood, and uncover knowledge about yourself that can point you in the right direction.
You might spend a few weeks journaling, asking yourself questions about who you are and what you really want, and writing down your answers so they become clear as day.
You might start saying “yes” to more opportunities that come your way, just so you can try out new things and see if you like them, even if you normally wouldn’t.
You might find yourself taking some more alone time, perhaps through meditation or spending more time in nature, to slow down your thoughts and give you better access to your intuition and what your heart might be trying to tell you.
You may even hire a coach or talk to a therapist who can help guide you.
Stage 2 is all about doing whatever you can to increase your self-knowledge.
When I was in this stage, what worked best for me was asking myself the right questions and taking the time to write out my answers thoroughly.
This helped me tap into my deeper wants and desires, the things that weren’t at the top of my mind but were deep within my heart.
In Stage 2, you can expect to go deep within your heart, and maybe to the depths of your soul, to discover who you really are.
Every time a new piece of self-awareness springs up from your heart and into your mind, it will be like a breath of fresh air and a river of peace will begin to wash over you.
That’s how clarity feels. It’s like stepping into a hot tub at the perfect temperature and saying “Ahhh…that’s it” as all of your muscles relax and unwind.
Let’s talk about the best mindset and attitude to adopt for you to navigate this stage successfully:
The Best Mindset and Attitude to Have in Stage 2
The best mindset to have in Stage 2 is this:
I am willing to do whatever it takes to increase my self-knowledge because I know that all of the answers I seek are already within me, and the better I know myself, the more clear my purpose will become.
I will continue to increase my self-knowledge until I know, without a shadow of a doubt, what I really want to do in life. And I will keep going no matter how long it takes.
Stage 2 is where you might encounter the first test of your perseverance.
Stage 2 is where you might come across your first taste of internal resistance to the process.
Perceived limitations might pop up. You might feel tired and want to fall back into your old habits and routines.
You might start to feel like the process isn’t working for you and maybe there’s another way.
But what I can tell you is this:
If your purpose were easy or boring, you’d know it already.
Discovering your purpose is going to take some work and effort on your end.
You’re going to have to make some different decisions.
You’re going to have to break out of old routines and habits, the very habits that are keeping you in a state of frustration, confusion, and lack of fulfillment, in order to open yourself up to new awareness and opportunities.
You will need to adopt a mindset that will keep you going until you gain the self-knowledge you need to progress to the next stage of the journey, no matter how much resistance may come up from within you.
If resistance comes up, recognize it as just a part of the process.
That resistance is a part of the old you, not the new you you’re creating through this journey.
Blast through that resistance and keep going until you find the answers you’re seeking.
What to Focus Your Energy On in Stage 2
You can approach Stage 2 in many ways because there are many ways to increase your self-knowledge.
For example, you can:
Start a daily journaling habit.
Try lots of new things to find what resonates with you.
Ask family, friends, and the people who know you best what they think you are meant to do in life.
Take online personality tests to understand yourself better (like 16Personalities or Enneagram).23
Study astrology, human design, numerology, and/or the Gene Keys and see if any of those modalities can shed light on who you are.4
Hire a life coach to help you increase your self-knowledge.
Take a life purpose course or attend a seminar.
Any of these methods can help increase your self-knowledge, but what I recommend focusing your energy on right now is this:
Ask yourself the right questions and write down your answers.
This will probably get you the best results the fastest. I’ve found that it’s the most direct route, and it’s the best starting point for most people.
Here’s why:
Imagine your inner world as a room filled with doors that lead to other rooms.
Inside these rooms and behind your inner doors are the answers you’ve been seeking about who you are and what you’re meant to do in this life.
However, there’s a catch:
Those doors are locked until you find the right keys to open them.
What are the right keys?
The right keys to open your inner doors are the right questions to ask yourself.
For every question, there is an answer.
Every answer to any question you’ve ever had until this point about what you’re supposed to do with your life lies within you already, including the answers to many questions you haven’t asked yourself yet.
Most people are much closer to discovering their purpose than they think.
They just haven’t asked themselves the right questions yet and sat down and written their answers out.
Why must you write your answers out? Why can’t you just think about them?
Because just thinking about them will only get you to the surface-level answers you probably already know.
Writing down your answers helps you get to the deeper answers that sit behind your inner doors, the answers that rest deep within your heart and soul.
These are the life-changing answers you’re probably seeking.
If the right questions are the keys that unlock your inner doors, sitting down and writing out your answers is like actually inserting the key, turning it, unlocking the door, and opening it to reveal the answer that was there all along.
And you can start doing this right now.
You don’t need to drop everything and jetset across the world to find yourself.
(Note: I did this in 2018. It was awesome.)
You don’t need to spend five years jumping around from job to job until you find something you like.
You don’t need to start ten businesses or join six non-profits to find your calling.
You just need to gather the right questions to ask yourself and invest some time in writing down your answers.
This will help you develop a clear and unambiguous understanding of who you really are, what you really want, and where you want your life to go.
If you go through the process of asking yourself the right questions and writing down your answers and you still don’t have enough clarity, then try the other methods because they tend to take more time, energy, and overall life investment.
Before starting on another method, you will at least have a solid foundation of self-knowledge to build from, which will help you gain more clarity from the other methods.
How to Progress to Stage 3
I’m guessing the number one question you’re asking right now is this:
“If the keys to unlock the answers that are already within me are the right questions, how do I know what the right questions are?”
Thankfully, you don’t have to come up with them yourself if you don’t want to.
I spent years collecting the right questions anyone can ask themselves to deepen their self-knowledge.
Here are 10 of the right questions to get you started. I recommend spending at least an hour answering them as deeply as you can (on paper):
If you want dozens more questions with exercises to go even further, I recommend buying my book.
It comes with a free workbook to record and save your answers for later. And it will help you discover more specific layers of your purpose, like:
Your higher purpose.
Your passion.
Your mission.
Your calling.
Your ikigai.
Your life lessons.
Your purposeful work.
Your Trifecta of Purpose.
What’s most important to you in the different areas of your life.
Who you want to help and how you want to help them.
And much more.
Then I suggest taking a few personality tests, like 16Personalities and Enneagram. Both of these tests have been super enlightening for me.
Continue your journey of self-discovery until you know, without a shadow of a doubt, what you want to do with your life.
One thing to note here:
You don’t need to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. Figuring out what you want to do next will suffice.
I love this quote from Martin Luther King Jr.:
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
You don’t need to see the entire path in front of you.
You just need to see the next step, the step that excites you the most and feels the best to you.
Then you are ready to progress to Stage 3 – The Wall of Fear and Insecurity.
Stage 3 – The Wall of Fear and Insecurity
“I’m afraid to take the leap of faith” and/or “I’m not good enough.”
Unless you are an emotionless cyborg…
You will probably face something along your journey that all people face when deciding to truly follow their hearts and do what they really want to do in life.
This thing is…
Fear.
(And insecurity.)
(But insecurity is rooted in fear. So it’s really all just fear. But it’s important to recognize the insecurity part of it.)
Imagine you’ve just figured out what you really want to do with your life and you’re super excited.
It feels good. You’ve never had clarity like this before, and it feels like a whole new world is opening up to you.
In terms of The 5 Stages of Purpose, you’ve completed Stage 2 (Self-Discovery) and you’re itching to continue the process.
Then, as you imagine taking action on your new clarity, a little bit of discomfort comes up.
As you keep mulling things over, the discomfort gets bigger.
Slowly, it turns into downright fear, and you begin thinking thoughts like:
What will my family and friends think?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I fail?
What if I’m not good enough?
Who am I to think so big? I’m just a [insert self-deprecation here].
Can I really do this?
I don’t have enough money/time/connections/experience/blah blah blah…
Well, my friend, what you’ve just discovered is what I call The Wall of Fear and Insecurity.
Just about everyone steps foot in front of this wall and stares up at its daunting stature at some point.
The Wall of Fear and Insecurity is like a big wall covered in Post-It notes.
And on each note is written one of your fears or insecurities related to doing what you really want to do in life.
These are all of your perceived limitations, fears, worries, doubts, or concerns.
These fears and insecurities may include things related to:
lack of self-confidence,
lack of self-worth,
fear of failure,
fear of criticism,
fear of the unknown,
reasons to reject the call to adventure,
excuses why now isn’t the right time,
…and a myriad of other things our brains concoct trying to keep us “safe” inside our comfort zones.
When, in reality, all of our fears (and I mean ALL of them) are just outdated survival mechanisms that aren’t serving us anymore.
The Wall of Fear and Insecurity is NOT a wall that’s meant to stop you from moving forward.
It’s a wall you’re meant to DESTROY with a sledgehammer and walk across its shambled remains with pride as you take the next powerful step in your journey.
(AKA Stage 4.)
Basically, it’s just a step along the way.
The fears and insecurities that come up in your journey to live true to yourself are just a normal part of the process. They’re nothing to blow out of proportion.
But you do need to learn how to handle them and work through them so you can destroy your Wall of Fear and Insecurity and continue on your path.
Let’s talk about what to expect in this stage so you can handle it skillfully:
In Stage 3, you can expect to come across your fears and insecurities in a number of ways.
For example, they may come up simply as you’re thinking about taking action on your goal or your purpose.
One part of you may be more excited about your life than you’ve ever been before, and another part may be deathly afraid of what might happen if you actually go for it.
(Personally, I was more afraid of what would happen if I didn’t go for what I wanted. The regret, the unfulfilling work, the time wasted, etc.)
Your fears may also come up when you take the first action toward what you want.
Up until the first action, you may feel incredible. You may be filled with excitement and enthusiasm.
But once you take the first action, it may trigger subconscious fears or insecurities you didn’t know you had.
Or you may be faced with a task that requires you to step farther outside your comfort zone than you ever have before, and that triggers fears for you.
Basically, in Stage 3, you can expect to face fears related to your goal or your purpose in some way, shape, or form.
Often, they’re fears or insecurities you didn’t know you had, but the fact that you’re finally stepping outside your comfort zone to do something unique and true to you is triggering them.
Or they’re fears you’ve carried with you throughout your life that you haven’t dealt with yet but you must deal with in order to progress in your purpose journey and the other areas of your life.
I can tell you that these are some of the worst feelings you can feel along this journey, but I can also tell you that they are there for a reason. They’re there to benefit you in some way.
Expect to be faced with your fears and insecurities, but also expect that these fears and insecurities will be there to serve you in some way.
With the right mindset and attitude, these fears will become some of the most powerful stepping stones for your personal growth and development.
The Best Mindset and Attitude to Have in Stage 3
The best mindset to have in Stage 3 is this:
I know I will probably face many fears and insecurities as I start my purpose journey, but I will not let them stop me from doing what I really want to do in life.
I know I have the power to overcome my fears, and I will tap into that power to overcome them and learn from them.
Every fear or insecurity is an opportunity for growth and development, and I will take advantage of each opportunity and use them as stepping stones for further advancement in my life and who I am as a person.
Our fears and insecurities do not define us.
Don’t let them define you.
And definitely don’t let them define your journey or your path.
Way too many people allow The Wall of Fear and Insecurity to stop them from evertaking action on their goals, their dreams, and the desires that rest within their hearts and souls.
History is littered with lifetimes of unrealized potential, simply because people were too afraid to take the leap of faith and go for what they wanted.
To make progress on your journey, you cannot allow this to happen to you.
You are in full control over your fears and how you handle them.
You can choose to adopt a mindset that sees fear as simply a stepping stone in the process. Not a shackle.
Make a promise to yourself that you will not let your fears stop you from doing what you really want to do in life.
Know that you have the power to overcome any fear that presents itself.
Where too many others have used their fears as excuses not to take action, use your fears as opportunities for growth and advancement.
When you look back, having conquered fear after fear, you will be proud of yourself for everything you have done and for who you have become in the process.
In Stage 3, focus your energy on becoming aware of which fears and insecurities are coming up for you.
Then pay attention to where they’re coming from and why they’re coming up for you.
This will help you deal with them in Stage 4.
How to Progress to Stage 4
Progressing to Stage 4 is about shedding light on your fears so you can work on them later.
Here’s what I recommend:
Create a note on your phone or grab a physical journal. This is going to be your Wall of Fear and Insecurity Journal.
Every time a fear or insecurity comes up for you, I want you to write it down in your journal. Write it as clearly as you can. Try to understand the feeling and put it into words.
Here are some questions to help you do this:
How am I feeling right now? How would I describe this feeling?
Where am I feeling this feeling? Where is it in my body?
What triggered this feeling? What was I thinking or doing?
Where do I believe this feeling comes from? What is the source of it? Does it come from my past, or is it something else?
Is this fear or insecurity valid? Is this a rational fear, or is it something that isn’t grounded in reality?
Is this fear helping me somehow? Or would I be better off without it?
If someone else were feeling this fear, what advice would I give them to handle it?
That’s it. Don’t worry about releasing the fear right then and there. Don’t worry about working through it or anything yet.
In this stage, I just want you to become aware of your fears and insecurities and start understanding them.
Fear is like a shadow. Until you shed light on it, it’s unknown and follows you everywhere.
But as soon as you identify it and start to understand it, you shed light on it.
The more light you shed on it, the more it starts to fade away until it disappears into nothingness, as if it was never there in the first place.
Once you have started identifying and understanding your fears and insecurities, you are ready to progress to Stage 4 – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
Stage 4 – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
“I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
Stage 4 is what separates the minority of people who are living purposefully and powerfully from the majority of people who are too afraid to.
(For now…until more people learn what I’m about to share with you in Stage 4.)
Stage 4 is when you really start to tap into your inner power. It’s when you start to see what you’re really made of.
It’s where you start to see that you can really do this. You are capable.
And you have a wealth of talent and ability within you that you simply weren’t tapping into.
But first, you need to handle the fears and insecurities you identified in Stage 3.
Only then can you achieve the breakthrough in your personal and spiritual development necessary to fulfill your purpose and potential.
You need to…
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Simple enough, right?
For some people, it is.
For many people, it’s not.
So it’s time to learn how to tap into and develop your courage.
What to Expect in Stage 4
In Stage 4, you can expect to be faced with your fears and insecurities, but they won’t stop you from taking action.
You can expect to feel the discomfort of stepping outside your comfort zone, but you can also expect to feel the thrill of it.
You will feel the excitement of doing something new, something unique, and something suited to your talents, abilities, desires, and goals.
You may feel nervous, especially at first. You may feel some anxiety.
But these feelings will only be temporary. They’ll be short-lived as you get better and better at acting despite them.
Stage 4 is all about developing your courage – your ability to take action despite your fears or insecurities.
From our Wall of Fear and Insecurity analogy, in Stage 4 you’re picking up a sledgehammer, looking valiantly at all of your fears and insecurities attempting to hold you back, and you’re knocking them down one by one.
Courage is not acting without fear.
That’s bravery.
It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
That’s courage.
If you can act without fear, great.
But for most of us, if we wait until we aren’t feeling any fear to take action, we’ll end up dead before we actually do anything. That’s how long it might take.
We admire courageous people because it’s difficult to act despite our fears. Few people act courageously enough in their lives to live a life that’s truly aligned with who they are.
In Stage 4, you become one of those few courageous souls taking action on your goals and dreams.
While you do this, while you overcome fear after fear and take continuous courageous action toward what you want…
You can also expect to experience some resistance from others.
Family members, friends, coworkers, whoever…may not totally support what you’re doing.
They may have their own fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs they’re projecting onto you.
Or they may be jealous or envious of your ability to act courageously, while they still feel caged in by their fear and insecurity.
This is yet another thing you will need to act despite.
You will need to act despite your own fears and insecurities and other people’s fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs.
You will need to master your mind, develop a deep and lasting faith in yourself, and cultivate an intense determination to do what you want to do and become who you want to be.
Then, when you reach your mountaintop, supporters and naysayers alike will sing your praises.
The Best Mindset and Attitude to Have in Stage 4
The best mindset to have in Stage 4 is this:
I will act on my goals and dreams despite my fears and insecurities, no matter what anyone else in my life thinks or feels about it.
I know that the only way to make other people happy is to make myself happy, so I will do what makes me happy, even if others don’t fully support it or believe in me yet.
I will take continuous courageous action toward my goals and what I really want in life, and I will be proud of myself for doing it.
I will stare up at my Wall of Fear and Insecurity, I will pick up my sledgehammer, and I will knock each fear down one by one.
I will feel the fear and do it anyway because I know this is the path to turning my dreams into a reality.
Here’s what I recommend:
Approach Stage 4 with the attitude of a warrior.
Except you’re not battling against anyone else. You’re battling against yourself.
Your fears, worries, doubts, and insecurities. Your perceived (not real) limitations.
It’s time to put your game face on. It’s time to stand up straight, chest up, with a fierce look in your eyes and a cheeky, cunning smile across your face.
Because you know that you’ve got this.
This is your time. The time is now for you to take some serious steps toward who you’ve been destined to be your whole life.
It’s time to take action on your calling in life.
It’s time to become who you really are and were always meant to be.
What to Focus Your Energy On in Stage 4
First, recognize, know, and believe that none of the fears or insecurities that may come up for you are actually stopping you, even if it feels like they are.
The famous Henry Ford quote applies perfectly here:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
In Stage 4, focus your energy on thinking and believing that you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way (including your fears) and achieve what you want to achieve.
Once you’ve adopted this belief, start taking small, consistent steps outside your comfort zone.
You do not need to take big steps outside your comfort to make consistent and extensive progress.
Small, consistent steps outside your comfort zone will help you get into the habit of taking courageous action without overwhelming you with heavy, fear-based energy.
Screw what other people may be saying or doing. If they’re taking “massive action” but that’s way too far outside your comfort zone, you don’t have to do it just because they’re doing it.
On the other hand, if massive action feels like the best approach for you, by all means, go for it.
The main point here is you can make tons of progress by taking small, consistent, courageous steps toward what you want.
And you’re likely to enjoy the process more. It will keep you in the “excitement zone” rather than the “crippling fear and anxiety” zone.
That’s how I’ve continued my conscious personal development in many areas of my life now for over a decade.
How to Progress to Stage 5
To progress to Stage 5, you need to get into the habit of taking continuous courageous action on your goals, your dreams, your desires, and what you want to do with your life.
It must become natural for you because if you ever allow fear, insecurity, or perceived limitations to stop you, it will halt the whole process.
Once you’re in the habit of taking courageous action (and remember, it doesn’t have to be “massive action” all the time), you’re in a position to overcome any obstacle that may come your way.
You’re also in a position to experience limitless personal growth and development.
Your life will grow and expand as much as you do.
Read that sentence again!
Your life will grow and expand as much as you do.
As you take continuous courageous action, and as you take small (or big) steps outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone will continue to expand.
Meaning your life will continue to expand.
And then you’ll be ready to progress to Stage 5 – You’re on Your Path.
Note: “Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway” is a popular book by Susan Jeffers. I haven’t read it myself yet, but it’s what inspired the title for Stage 4.5
Stage 5 – You’re on Your Path
“I’m on my path.”
Stage 5 is the stage I’m at and all others who have had the courage to say “yes” to their goals and dreams and walk the path of their purpose, passion, mission, and calling.
Stage 5 is where you carve out your unique place in the world. It’s where your life becomes an expression of who you truly are within.
It’s also when you finally get to reap the rewards of all the personal development you’ve gone through and all of the obstacles you’ve overcome to get to this point.
Whatever your goals, dreams, and desires are, this is when you experience them.
The work isn’t over, however.
(In fact, it never truly ends.)
You still need to take continuous action on your goals, dreams, and desires.
It may still take more time for you to achieve them. They may manifest in part before they manifest in full, which can sometimes feel frustrating.
It also doesn’t mean that the obstacles are over, either. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have any more fears or insecurities to deal with.
But you will be on your path. You will feel a deep resonance with what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
You’ll be more empowered than you ever have before to handle whatever life throws your way.
And you will love it.
You will love finally doing what you were meant to do. It will feel better than anything you’ve ever done in your life.
You will know that you are living life at your edge. You will know you are living life at the edge of your potential, continually testing yourself to see what you’re truly made of.
You will seek more expansion, more growth, and more experience, simply for the joy of it.
Your purpose will shine bright for all to see.
Your mission will be clear as day, unfolding before you in greater detail.
And you will be filled with inspiration, excitement, and enthusiasm that propel you forward.
Stage 5 is the stage where everything comes together and the deepest desires you’ve held within your heart and soul become realized.
What to Expect in Stage 5
In Stage 5, you can expect to feel pretty darn good about yourself.
You will look back on where you started, either when you were lost and confused and didn’t know what to do or when you were still in the stage of self-discovery…
And you will feel proud of how far you’ve come in your journey so far.
You can expect to be doing work you love. You can expect to be doing work that’s meaningful to you and fulfills you.
Depending on the path you’ve chosen, it may still have its challenges.
But these will be challenges you have chosen, not challenges someone else has chosen for you.
And these challenges will have a purpose. They will fuel your growth and expansion as a human being.
(Compared to the challenges you may have faced when you were in Stage 1 or 2, which tend to feel like meaningless difficulties.)
You can also expect to feel incredibly empowered and confident in yourself, like you can handle whatever comes your way.
At this point, your personal development will have given you a deep awareness of yourself and what you’re capable of.
When you think of a goal or dream, you immediately know it’s achievable for you.
Negative or pessimistic mindsets are a thing of the past. You’re too empowered now.
You know too much about the limitless possibilities of life.
In Stage 5, your life may look drastically different than it did in Stage 1 or 2.
You may be living where you’ve always wanted to live, doing what you want to do, and doing it with people you love and care about.
Your lifestyle may be more congruent than it’s ever been. You may be serving and helping others in deep and meaningful ways.
You may be sharing your truth authentically and courageously (maybe even fearlessly).
Stage 5 is also the stage where you make your purpose journey your own. This is when you go off the beaten path and blaze a new trail.
You will likely meet other people who are doing the same, and you will help and support each other as allies in each other’s journeys.
This is what happened to me when I reached Stage 5.
I took a trip to Thailand and traveled around Southeast Asia for 10 months in 2018-2019. That’s when I really started to step onto my path and enter Stage 5.
I had already gone off the beaten path when I graduated college four years earlier, starting an online business while everyone I knew got corporate jobs.
But I still hadn’t stepped fully onto the path of my purpose, passion, mission, and calling yet.
That was until I got to Asia and met some friends who became my allies in this part of the journey.
We had similar goals and dreams in life. We all wanted to make big, positive impacts on the world.
And we were willing to develop ourselves and overcome whatever challenges came our way to do it.
We supported each other’s growth. We shared knowledge and wisdom with each other and studied it deeply.
We helped each other get more aligned with what we were really meant to do when it came to our life purposes.
This is when I overcame some of my biggest fears and insecurities around becoming who I wanted to be and doing what I wanted to do.
This is when I became more confident in my ability to do it than ever before and took more action on it than I’d ever taken.
Everything that happened in Asia was the foundation and the catalyst for what has happened since, and I’m incredibly grateful for those times.
That was when I began stepping fully into Stage 5 and when I began stepping fully onto my path.
So…
Let’s talk about the best mindset and attitude for you to have as you step into Stage 5 and walk your path:
The Best Mindset and Attitude to Have in Stage 5
The best mindset and attitude to have in Stage 5 is this:
I am now on my path, and I’m ready for whatever life throws my way.
I am empowered. I am strong. I have overcome so much already, and that gives me the confidence to pursue any goal or dream I desire.
I know that I have the ability to accomplish whatever I want to accomplish in life, and I know that I can do it in a state of joy and passion for what I’m doing.
I love being on my path, I’m so grateful for the journey so far, and I can’t wait for what’s to come.
I will continue to empower myself. I will continue to learn and grow.
And I will continue to be the best version of myself for myself, the people I care about, and the world.
It’s now time for me to carve out my own unique place in the world, and I will do it with confidence, courage, and full faith in myself and my abilities.
Now that you know what you want, and you’re taking action despite any fears (courageous action), your path is wide open with endless possibilities for advancement.
As you continue to empower yourself through learning and growth, the possibilities of what you can accomplish in life will expand further and further.
The attitude that will serve you best in Stage 5 is one of self-confidence because from that mental and emotional seed will sprout everything else required for you to realize your full potential.
The possibilities truly blow wide open here. Your path could go in any number of directions.
But the difference between now and who you were in the earlier stages of the journey is this:
You are consciously directing your path now more than ever.
You are the creator of your life experience, and you can feel that. You can feel the true power that comes from that.
No more will you feel like outside forces are controlling the outcome of your life.
You will now realize the truth:
That you are now and always have been the one who is in control of your life experience.
Only now, you know it and are acting like it.
What to Focus Your Energy On in Stage 5
In Stage 5, your energy is best focused on going all in on what you were born to do.
This is no time for having one foot in and one foot out. It’s time to put your foot on the gas pedal and floor it!
You know what you want, you know where you want your life to go, and you’ve started taking action on it.
Now start firing on all cylinders.
Go all in.
Commit yourself to the process, no matter what happens.
Trust that it will unfold in the best way possible for your growth and expansion (and for the expansion of others).
Remember, your path may not be linear. It may not be a straight and unencumbered line to success.
You may bounce back and forth a few times. You may take two steps forward and what seems like one step back.
(It’s really not a step back. You can only take steps forward, because even a mistake or misstep is a learning opportunity that can serve your advancement.)
This is when your personal empowerment comes into play. This is when you lean on the power of your inner knowing to keep you on your path.
Let nothing, and I mean nothing, discourage you from your path.
Once you are on your path, stay on it until you reach “that place” your heart has been calling you towards.
In Stage 5, self-confidence, trust, faith, perseverance, and persistence will be your best friends.
Lean on them to stay true to yourself and the path you have chosen.
How to Progress Beyond Stage 5
What exists beyond your path?
That’s a good question.
My intuition for my own path tells me that a new one will begin.
A new path. A new journey. New stages to navigate.
However, the people I’ve observed who are decades into Stage 5 are still in Stage 5. They haven’t moved on to a stage beyond this one yet.
To do this, they would need to entirely drop the purpose they had before and start a new one that’s totally unrelated.
What most people do is expand the current journey they’re on by adding new things to it.
They start new ventures. They create new things. They help people in different ways.
As far as I’m aware of right now, most don’t go totally off their old path of purpose and start something that’s totally unrelated and different.
But when you or I get there, let me know and I’ll update this section 😉
Then you’ll be ready to progress beyond Stage 5 to whatever awaits you in the next journey.
Summary of The 5 Stages of Purpose
Here’s a quick summary of The 5 Stages of Purpose for your reference:
Stage 1 – Lost and Confused
The quote for Stage 1 is:
“I don’t know what to do.”
In Stage 1, people have no clue what to do with their lives. They’re often frustrated and stressed out when it comes to their path in life.
They’re probably following someone else’s purpose for them instead of one they’ve consciously chosen for themselves.
The path before them seems dark and cloudy at this point in time.
However, little do they know that all of the answers they seek are already inside them, and they just need to go within and start their journey of self-discovery to shed light on them.
Stage 2 – Self-Discovery
The quote for Stage 2 is:
“I’m learning about who I am and what I want.”
In Stage 2, people begin learning more about themselves than they ever have before.
They experience light bulb moments as they discover who they really are, what they really want, and where they want their lives to go.
In Stage 2, people do a lot of introspective work and soul-searching, often taking a long, hard look at their past and where they want to go in the future.
The name of the game in Stage 2 is self-knowledge.
To advance to Stage 3, do everything you can to increase your self-knowledge to the point where you know, without a shadow of a doubt, what you want to do and are meant to do.
Stage 3 – The Wall of Fear and Insecurity
The quote for Stage 3 is:
“I’m afraid to take the leap of faith” and/or “I’m not good enough.”
In Stage 3, people have gained all of the self-knowledge they need to know what they really want to do with their lives.
However, just as they gain this knowledge, something steps in their way:
The Wall of Fear and Insecurity.
Posted on this wall are all of their subconscious fears, doubts, worries, and concerns related to what they want to do.
People in Stage 3 need to recognize that none of these fears and insecurities are there to stop them. In fact, they are there to benefit their personal and spiritual development.
In Stage 3, the goal is to become aware of the fears and insecurities that are attempting to hold you back from progressing on your purpose journey.
Because as soon as you identify your fears and start to understand them, you shed light on them until they start to fade away and disappear into nothingness.
Stage 4 – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
The quote for Stage 4 is:
“I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
Stage 4 is defined by one word:
Courage.
People in Stage 4 are tasked with developing their courage – their ability to act on their goals and dreams despite their fears, worries, doubts, or concerns.
Stage 4 is characterized by breakthroughs in personal and spiritual development as people begin acting on their goals and dreams and consistently expanding their comfort zones.
This allows you to take bigger and bigger actions, build more and more confidence, and make ever-increasing progress to stepping fully onto your path.
Stage 5 – You’re on Your Path
The quote for Stage 5 is:
“I’m on my path.”
In Stage 5, people are aligned with their inner truth in a deep and profound way.
The heart and mind are working as one toward definite goals and purposes that excite them and invigorate them.
They’re carving their own path through life, defined by theirwants, dreams, and desires, not someone else’s.
In Stage 5, you are truly in your power, and you are making your mark on the world.
Next Steps
One thing I want to mention about navigating The 5 Stages of Purpose is that your progress won’t always be linear. It won’t always be a straight line.
You might start off in Stage 1, then quickly progress to Stage 2.
Then you might be in Stage 2 until you gain the self-knowledge you need to progress to Stage 3.
Then you might stay in Stage 3 for a little while, only to find out you need some more clarity.
Then you’ll hop back into Stage 2 for the clarity you need, before jumping back to Stage 3.
If this happens to you, that’s okay. It’s a normal part of the process. You may jump around for a while until you really start gaining momentum.
Also, if you were in Stage 1 when you started reading this article, you are probably ready for Stage 2 right now.
Stage 2 is the stage of self-discovery. This is the stage I’m helping most people with right now.
If this is you, I recommend downloading my Self-Discovery Workbook. It will help you start developing a deep level of self-knowledge and awareness.
I also recommend downloading the 10 Deep Questions to Help You Find Your Life Purpose below. They will also help you tremendously in Stage 2.
Finally, I wish you all the best no matter where you are on your journey.
I’m here with you, and I can’t wait to see how your journey unfolds.
Now, I want to hear from you:
What stage are you in? What are you experiencing in this stage, and what do you feel you need to do to progress to the next one (based on The 5 Stages of Purpose)?
Michael Karp is a personal development blogger and self-published author. He started his personal development journey in 2011 as a sophomore in college.
Since then, he has self-published several books, started an online business and became a digital nomad, achieved his dream of moving to Thailand and traveling around Southeast Asia, built a following of 18,000 people on Instagram sharing personal development advice, became a life coach, found his life purpose, and healed his body with the power of his mind.
With a deep passion for serving others, Michael continues his hero's journey on a mission to help people around the world to empower themselves, realize their true potential, and achieve their dreams.
