A few months ago, I got an email from one of my subscribers who was having some internal conflicts.
He was going back and forth between taking a chance on himself and going for what he really wanted in life versus continuing on the traditional path he was already on.
He admitted that it’s sometimes hard to believe in himself, and he wants to stop doubting himself.
But he also felt that doubting himself can be a good thing because it keeps him grounded and realistic.
On the other hand, he would also like to sometimes be unrealistic and see how far he can go – to take a chance on himself, stop being so calculated and cautious, maybe even make some mistakes, and see what happens.
This internal battle was starting to have negative effects on his creativity and mental health, so he asked me what I thought.
Here’s what I told him from my experience of taking a chance on myself for the last ten years:
“I believe that you can have faith in yourself and stay grounded and realistic at the same time.
People confuse being “practical” with being fearful. They say they’re being practical when really they’re just scared of the unknown. Their practicality really just means their comfort zone.
But there comes a point when, in order to take action on your goals and dreams, your desire for success and happiness has to become stronger than your fear of what may or may not happen or what people might think. That’s the point when you really go for it.
Those fears might still be there, but your desire for something greater is so strong it doesn’t stop you anymore.
No one who has ever achieved their biggest goals and dreams was realistic. 99% of the world is realistic. That’s why they’re all stuck in jobs they don’t like building other people’s dreams.
(My intention is to reduce that percentage 😉 )
Everyone who has achieved their dreams took a chance on themselves and stuck with it until their dream was realized. It’s not realistic, but I’d rather be happy and living up to my full potential than get to the end of my life and wonder what might’ve happened if I’d gone for it.
Plus, when you consider the long term negative effects on a person’s life when they don’t do what they really want to do in life, it actually becomes more realistic to do what you really want to do.
You end up healthier, happier, more well-rounded, more empowered, in a better place to serve others, and giving your gifts to the world. When you understand how inner happiness leads to all of the outer happiness people desire, that seems way more logical to me.
That’s how I think about it and how I live.”
(It was a long response, but his question deserved it.)
Then I encouraged him to find a happy medium between the two extremes he was considering (caution/calculation vs. all-out unrealism), one that could be more harmonious for his mental well-being and his life, so he can satisfy both sides and do what he really wants to do at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to do something in life but felt like you couldn’t or shouldn’t because you needed to be “realistic”?
Have you ever had a goal, dream, or desire to do something you really wanted to do, but something immediately brought you “back down to Earth” or to the “real world”?
Then what happened? Did you act on that desire? Or did you just keep doing what you were doing before?
If you just kept on doing what you were doing before, you’re not alone. This is what many people do.
It’s not that they’re incapable of achieving their goals and dreams. A big part of their inaction is simply the idea of trying to be realistic or practical.
It stops them from taking even the smallest action toward what they want. They stop themselves before they’ve even begun.
One of the biggest self-imposed limitations when it comes to finding and following your purpose in life, doing what makes you happy, and achieving your goals and dreams is the idea of trying to be realistic.
In this article, I’m going to encourage you to release this idea and replace it with something more empowering.
The concept I’m going to introduce you to will help you believe in yourself more, empower your decision-making, and help you go after what you really want in life with courage, confidence, and certainty.
By the time you’re done reading, you will learn:
- The only thing that truly limits us as human beings (and how to overcome it).
- What people really mean when they say they’re being “realistic.”
- Why no great accomplishments are ever realistic (and how to accomplish great things in your life).
- How to let go of being realistic and replace it with something more empowering.
- How to take action on what actually makes you happy.
And much more…
Let’s begin:
Table of Contents
The Fallacy of Being Realistic
A fallacy is a false belief. It’s a belief that isn’t based on a sound argument.
When most people say they’re trying to be “realistic” or “practical” instead of taking action on what they really want in life, this tends to be a fallacy. It’s based more on a limited perspective that isn’t aligned with the opportunities presented to us in today’s day and age.
Why are so many people trying to be realistic instead of going for what they really want?
Here are some possibilities:
- They’re scared of the unknown.
- They don’t think they can succeed.
- They’re scared of what other people might think.
- They think they’ll have to uproot their whole life and shirk all of their responsibilities to do it. (Not true, by the way.)
- They believe they have to be the best right away or other people won’t support them.
- They believe other people got lucky breaks to get where they are, and they don’t believe they have those same opportunities.
- They believe they don’t have enough time/money/connections/etc.
- They believe they need to stay grounded or down to Earth or that their dreams are “pipe” dreams.
- They believe…[insert excuse here].
The list goes on.
Most people’s desire to be “realistic” is really their way of saying “I’m afraid or concerned about something” or “This is too far outside my comfort zone right now.”
It’s a constraint they’re placing on themselves. Not a true limitation.
Wanting to be realistic is the logical mind stepping in trying to protect the ego. It’s a survival mechanism of the mind.
The heart says, “I want to do what makes me happy!”
Then the mind comes in (if we don’t consciously choose our own perspective) and says, “But I have all of these responsibilities. What if it doesn’t work out? What will my family and friends say? I need to be realistic. I need to be practical…”
Then nothing changes. Their desire is still there, but they’ve allowed their logical mind to talk them out of any sort of action or attempt to figure out how they could make it work.
Think about this:
Is trying to be realistic all the time really a “safe” perspective?
In today’s day and age, with so much opportunity available to us, with all of the knowledge we could ever need available to anyone willing to do a Google search, is this really a logical perspective?
Is your mind really keeping you safe? Or is it just misinformed? Is it just not able to see the big picture and, therefore, limited in its own perspective?
In today’s day and age, with the opportunities available to us, I argue that doing what you really want to do in life is practical.
Doing what makes you happy is logical. At least making the attempt to do what makes you happy is practical, logical, and realistic in today’s day and age.
Therefore, this idea of being realistic is outdated.
Maybe it applied when opportunity was more scarce for the average person 50 to 100 years ago when your parents and grandparents were trying to make a living. But technology, knowledge, and information have leveled the playing field.
The fact that you’re reading this article right now from perhaps the other side of the world – an article that’s intended to inspire you to go after what you really want in life – is evidence of this. This was not possible a few generations ago.
Economic opportunity is going to equalize. Technology and information are making it faster, easier, and cheaper to do just about everything, including making your dreams come to life.
Wisdom itself is at your fingertips with the click of a button.
Did you know that over the last few years, access to the internet has started increasing faster in the least developed nations than in developed nations?1
Think about what this means.
We are on the precipice of big shifts in the opportunities available to most people. The opportunity to be, do, or have whatever you desire in life will be democratized. The privileges that have up until now only been available to people in developed nations will extend to the least developed nations, as well.
The opportunity for the world to fulfill its desires will only increase.
But YOU, as an individual, must still be the one to seize that opportunity. You’ve got to be the one to say yes to your desires.
The heart wants what the heart wants. No amount of logic is going to change your deepest desires. You may be able to suppress them, but they won’t go away.
Related: How to Listen to Your Heart, Learn Its Language, and Uncover Your Inner Truth
So my message for you is, why wait? Why not go for it when all of the information and inspiration you need to achieve what you want to achieve is available to you right now?
Caution may have kept us safe 100 years ago, but now it’s only keeping people from being who they are truly meant to be in this life.
Time is our only unreplenishable asset. Every second spent talking yourself out of taking action on what you want in life is a second you won’t get back.
The opportunity is now. The time is now.
If you choose it, your time can be now.
Maybe it doesn’t seem “realistic” to you right now. Maybe it doesn’t seem “practical” to you right now. But it is possible. And it’s only going to become more realistic and possible as time goes on, until taking action on your dreams becomes the norm.
I believe that now is the time to explore that possibility and take advantage of this glorious era we have just entered before it’s too late and you’re lying on your deathbed wishing you had taken a chance on yourself and gone after what you really wanted in life.2
That’s why I’ve taken a chance on myself for the last ten years.
Because I know that the time is now and my future self will thank me for everything I have sacrificed to be who I am today and who I will be in the future.
No Great Accomplishments Are Ever “Realistic”
Think about any accomplishment you’ve ever admired by someone else. Was it “realistic” for them to achieve it?
Was it realistic for them to go for it? With everything they faced, all the challenges they went through, everything they needed to learn and do, was it realistic?
I guarantee, it probably wasn’t. Not on the surface.
Was it worth it, though? Was it inspiring? Was it uplifting? Did it show others what’s possible? Did they reach for their potential? Did they become a better person because of it? Did it put them in a position to help others? Did it make them happy?
In most cases, the answer to these questions is “yes.”
No great accomplishments ever seem realistic on the surface. Then everyone praises and admires them for having the courage to go for it and stick with it until their dream is realized.
Nothing I’ve accomplished so far in my life has been “realistic.” Nothing I intend on achieving in the future is “realistic,” either.
- Running a mile in 6:43 as a third grader and breaking my elementary school’s record wasn’t realistic.
- Self-publishing my first book and becoming one of the top 50 books in its category on Amazon wasn’t realistic.
- Traveling to Thailand and living in Southeast Asia for 10 months wasn’t realistic.
- Healing my body with my mind wasn’t realistic.
- Intending to reach and serve millions of people around the world, helping them find their purposes, follow their passions, and achieve their dreams isn’t realistic.
- Intending to become a #1 New York Times best-selling author isn’t realistic.
- Intending to start a non-profit that empowers others to empower themselves isn’t realistic.
The only way to do these things is to do what’s unrealistic to most people.
That’s why 99% of people haven’t accomplished the things they really want in life yet. They’re being too realistic! They’re being “realistic” to the point of limiting their own possibilities and suppressing their truest, most heartfelt desires.
Whatever you desire in life is probably a great accomplishment for you. It doesn’t matter how “big” or “small” it is in comparison to other people. If it’s big for you, then it’s big.
And it will require you to be unrealistic so that you can actually take action on it, follow your heart, and allow yourself to become who you really want to be and experience what you want to experience in life.
Our Only Limitation as Human Beings
Here are two of the biggest questions I believe all of us should ponder:
Are we truly limited?
Or is thinking that we are limited what actually limits us?
We’ve all heard the saying, “Oh well, I’m only human.”
Usually, this phrase is used in self-deprecation:
“I’m only human, so I can’t do this” or “I’m only human, so I’m limited in this way” or “I’m only human, and that’s why I wasn’t able to do this.”
Yet…
All of the reading I’ve done over the last 12 years, all of the experiences I’ve had so far in my life, all of the amazing stories I’ve heard, and all of the things I’ve accomplished so far and intend on accomplishing in the future, have led me to one conclusion:
Being human means being unlimited.
We are limited by only one thing:
Thinking that we are limited.
Accepting the idea of limitation is what limits our lives. Being “only human” means being capable of doing anything you truly want to do in life.
All of our biggest limitations as human beings are self-imposed.
We limit ourselves through our own thinking, not because we are actually limited.
But to get what most people want in life, you’ve got to be willing to do what most people aren’t (yet) willing to do.
Most people aren’t willing to take action on what they really want yet because their own self-perceptions are still too limited.
Again, they are not limited. Only their thinking is.
This is my firm belief: Anything you really want to do in life, you can do. The only limitations are those we choose to accept.
I believe this wholeheartedly because I’ve experienced it. I’ve experienced my fair share of miracles (I will share one of them with you soon), and thousands of others have too. I’ve read, watched, and listened to their stories and been inspired by them.
However, “thousands” is still a tiny percentage in a world of eight billion people. We need to get millions to believe in what’s truly possible in life before a ripple effect occurs and expands human life beyond comprehension.
But first, we must realize we are only truly limited by our own thinking and our perspective on ourselves and what’s possible in life.
The vast majority of people are WAY more capable than they believe they are, but they grew up being told they weren’t good enough, wouldn’t amount to much, or couldn’t do this or that.
They were belittled for their goals and dreams. They were told not to dream “too big.” Or they felt that they weren’t gifted or talented enough, so they needed to be “realistic” or “practical.”
All of which, I can promise you, is false.
One of my main intentions with my writing, and all of my work, is to inspire you to believe in yourself and what’s possible in life, as I have been inspired by others.
Countless examples exist of people doing the seemingly impossible. The only difference between them and anyone else is their belief in themselves and what’s possible.
In fact, it goes beyond belief.
They know they can achieve whatever they want to achieve in life. They know we live in a world of infinite possibilities. They know that there is an infinite storehouse of talent and potential within them just waiting to be unlocked and unleashed.
So…
If you grew up thinking you aren’t smart enough, I promise you, you are.
If you grew up thinking you aren’t talented enough, I promise you, you are.
If you grew up thinking you are limited in any way, I promise you, you are not.
Not really. Not at a fundamental level of Truth.
Often, we just need the right keys, to hop onto the right path, be exposed to the right ideas, or make a subtle shift in how we see ourselves before our true potential starts to shine through.
I remember, years ago, not feeling worthy to be doing what I’m doing right now.
I remember not feeling worthy enough, not feeling confident enough, asking myself, “Who I am to be doing this? Who am I to want to become this person? To help people this way?”
And you know what? The only difference between then and now is I know who I really am. I know that I am more than worthy.
And I act on it every day with confidence and worthiness.
The first step to unlimit your perspective is to begin seeing yourself for who you really are:
- Able
- Capable
- Worthy
- Smart
- Strong
- Empowered
- Powerful
- Full of potential you may not have tapped into yet
As you believe it, as you see it in yourself, those latent aspects of you will reveal themselves.
Then you, too, will know that you are not limited. Not really. Not by anything outside of you or within you.
And all possibilities, including the possibility of doing what you really want to do in life, will open up to you.
Your Limitless Reservoir of Power
When I first started to dream the biggest dreams I could imagine for myself and to see myself living my fullest potential, it scared me.
Could I really do this? Was I really capable of achieving these goals and dreams I had set for myself?
During that time, I found myself in a bookstore in Saigon, Vietnam, and I picked up a book called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy.3
A few months earlier, my friend had taught me a technique to receive wisdom from a book you might need at that moment.
Here’s how the technique works:
First, you hold the book in your hands, close your eyes, and think about the question you have.
Then, keeping your eyes closed, you flip the pages quickly with your thumb. When your intuition tells you to, stop, open the page, and read it.
Your answer will be on that page somewhere.
So I did this. I held the book in my hands, closed my eyes, and asked, “Can I really accomplish everything I’ve been imagining? Can I really accomplish all of these goals and dreams?”
Then I flipped through The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, stopped when my intuition told me to, opened my eyes, and read the page.
Here’s what it said on that page:
“In every human being is that limitless reservoir of power that can overcome any problem in the world.”
– The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Chapter 15, Page 223
It still gives me chills remembering this.
Instantly, I smiled. I knew I could do it.
I knew that no matter how big my goals and dreams are, I have the power within me to accomplish them.
From that moment forward, I have had 100% confidence in my ability to do what I want to do in life.
And in believing in myself and knowing what I’ve overcome and accomplished so far, I believe wholeheartedly in the power within others as well.
I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, or what challenges you may have experienced in your life so far, I know that you have this same limitless reservoir of power within you.
This power within you is a power that can overcome any problem in the world or in your life, and it can help you achieve anything you want to achieve.
With every fiber of my being, I believe this.
One of the biggest reasons why I do what I do is to help you believe this as well, so you can be who you really want to be, accomplish what you really want to accomplish, and reach for that unlimited potential within you and within each of us.
But to unlock this power, you may need to see yourself differently. You may need to think differently.
You may need to see yourself as more worthy, capable, and powerful.
And as you see it in yourself, you will realize that the most realistic thing for you to do is to go after what you really want in life.
You can do it, so why not?
Instead of being “realistic,” try this…
Instead of Being Realistic, Be This
Imagine you were fearless.
Imagine if, as soon as a goal, dream, or desire appeared in your mind, you were immediately confident that you could accomplish it.
Imagine feeling like you are limitless – like you can be, do, or have anything you desire in life.
Imagine feeling, believing, and knowing that life itself is limitless. Imagine feeling and believing that your potential is limitless – that nothing can stop you.
Imagine being free from internal conflicts. Imagine being totally balanced and centered.
Imagine believing in yourself so strongly that you inspire others to believe in you and in themselves.
Imagine having the confidence to do the “unrealistic” and to experience life in ways most people only dream of.
What could you do? Who could you become? What type of life could you lead?
The first step to being fearless, the first step to believing in yourself, is to start letting go of trying to be realistic or practical all the time.
And to instead…
Be bold.
Fortune favors the bold, not the realistic or the practical.
To be realistic is to guarantee yourself the same old, same old, day after day, year after year.
But I know you probably don’t want that. Not really.
You want what you want! What you REALLY want!
To get that, level up your self-perception. Think more highly of yourself. Take bold actions and make bold moves.
- Starting my business after college was bold.
- Starting this blog and following my calling was bold.
- Writing and self-publishing my books was bold.
- Starting my podcast was bold.
- Moving to Southeast Asia for ten months was bold.
- Healing my body with my mind was bold.
- All of the goals and dreams I intend on accomplishing are bold.
If I had tried to do only what was “realistic,” do you know how many of these things would’ve been accomplished?
None of them!
It’s only because I’ve done “unrealistic” things that I have experienced all of the magic and wonder I’ve experienced in my life so far.
It’s only because I’ve done “unrealistic” things that I’ve learned what I’m truly capable of.
And, in my mind, I’m just getting started.
The people who do “unrealistic” things are often the ones who experience the best life has to offer them. Being bold is the price of entry.
Now is the time. The opportunity your soul has been waiting for is here.
Where there is a will, there is a way. And your will will create the way.
The path before you is wide open. You can give yourself a blank slate if you choose. You hold the keys to a beautiful future in your hands.
So instead of being realistic, I deeply and strongly encourage you…
Trust your heart. Trust your intuition.
And be bold, my friend.
Be bold.
Footnotes
- Percentage of global population accessing the internet from 2005 to 2022, by market maturity – Statista
- In Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the #1 deathbed regret is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
- The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy