Everyone knows that to achieve their goals and dreams they must take action.
So why doesn’t everyone do it?
Why do some people seem to have a limitless capacity to act on their desires, while most people don’t take even the smallest actions on their biggest goals and dreams?
I’ve observed this phenomenon as I’ve worked on my goals and dreams for the last 12 years.
I have very little resistance to acting on my desires. It would be more out of character for me not to act on them.
Yet, the majority of people I talk to who know what they want in life, do not actually take action on it. Many only act on a small percentage of their desires.
Their biggest goals and dreams are often left on the back burner, sometimes never to be acted on or fulfilled.
After observing this for years and wondering what the difference is between people who act on their desires and people who don’t, I came up with something to illustrate it.
It’s a formula for action.
This formula simplifies and clarifies why some people act on their desires and others don’t.
More importantly, the formula makes it easy to identify why you might not be taking as much action as you would like, and how to take more.
Action is a necessary part of achieving any goal or fulfilling any desire in life.
Can you get in shape without exercising or eating well? Probably not.
Can you build an amazing relationship without putting some effort into it? Probably not.
Can you build your dream business without setting goals and working on them? Probably not.
All goals and dreams in all areas of life require some form of action.
This formula will help you understand exactly what you need to do to take more action, make more progress, and achieve your goals and dreams in life.
Let’s dive in:
Table of Contents
What is The Action Formula?
The Action Formula is:
(P + D + C) / F = ACTION
If we expand it, it reads:
(Pain + Desire + Confidence) / Fear = ACTION
Pain plus desire plus confidence, divided by fear, equals action.
Finally, if we expand it one more time, we have:
(Present Pain + Desire for Happiness + Confidence in Yourself) / Fear of Failure/Criticism/Disapproval/Etc = ACTION on Your Goals, Dreams, and Desires
Simple, right?
According to math, the bigger the top of the equation is, and the smaller the bottom is, the bigger the result will be.
The smaller the top of the equation is, and the bigger the bottom is, the smaller the result will be.
Therefore…
The higher your pain, desire, and confidence, and the lower your fear, the more action you will take on your goals, dreams, and desires.
The higher your pain, desire, and confidence, and the lower your fear, the more action you will take.
Here’s a closer look at each part of the formula:
Present Pain (P) – This is the amount of pain you’re experiencing right now versus what you want to experience. This is the pain of not having accomplished your goal, dream, or desire yet, or it’s the pain of the alternative. The more pain you experience, the more action you will take. The less pain you experience, the less action you will take.
Desire for Happiness (D) – We have goals, dreams, and desires for one primary reason: we believe we will be happier experiencing them than not. We believe we’ll be happier with our dream body, our dream partner, our dream business/career, or whatever it is that we desire. The stronger your desire is to achieve what you want, the more action you will take. The weaker your desire, the less action you will take.
Confidence in Yourself (C) – Confidence is a prerequisite for action. The more confident you are in yourself and your chances of success, the more action you will take. The less confident you are in yourself, the less action you will take. Sometimes this is based on reality, but mostly it’s based on self-perception, regardless of reality.
Fear of Failure/Criticism/Disapproval/Etc (F) – On the bottom of this division formula is fear. It could be any fear related to taking action on what you really want. However, three of the most common fears are fear of failure, fear of criticism, and fear of disapproval, especially from the people closest to us. The lower your fear, the more action you will take. The higher your fear, the less action you will take.
Are there other factors that determine whether or not people take action on their goals and dreams?
Sure, here are a few possibilities:
- Other responsibilities are taking too much of their time/energy.
- Their energy is depleted. They’re too drained.
- They have health issues they need to overcome first (mental, emotional, or physical).
- Financial issues, relationship issues, or another area of their life is so out of balance it’s consuming all of their energy and attention.
These would stop or halt most people from acting on their goals/dreams. For example, from 2020 to 2022, I had to stop acting on my goals and dreams to take care of my health.
Once my health was back up to a minimum level, I was able to work on my goals and dreams again. It was one of the best feelings ever.
Although…
I believe the minority of people are held back by these big life events or circumstances.
Most people are perfectly capable of acting on their goals, dreams, and desires right now.
But they’re holding themselves back through limited thinking, too much comfort, not enough desire, low confidence/self-esteem, or too much fear.
All of these are under our control and can be improved upon and overcome to maximize action and make progress on what we really want in life.
Let’s break down the formula further to gain a deeper understanding of how it impacts the actions we do or don’t take:
Breaking Down The Action Formula
1. Present Pain (P)
These days, most of us are not fighting for survival on a daily basis.
Instead…
We’re living in a comfort crisis.
People are so comfortable in the lives they’ve settled for, they’re not in enough pain to actually take the leap of faith into the lives they’re dreaming of.
People are so comfortable in the lives they’ve settled for, they’re not in enough pain to actually take the leap of faith into the lives they’re dreaming of.
People are too comfortable!
They’re not in enough pain to actually act on what they really want in life. They’re in a place where they don’t have to strive for something more.
They’re safe. They’ve got enough money. They have a “good” job and a “good” house and a “good” life.
But none of it is great. None of it is fantastic. None of it is amazing. None of it is mind-blowingly awesome (and it could be).
Good is the enemy of great for many people these days.
Overall, the increase in comfort people experience today is a result of improved circumstances and higher economic standards of living.1
It’s a good thing. It’s a result of economic progress.
However, people have allowed themselves to become so comfortable in their good lives that they sacrifice the great lives they could be living.
In The Action Formula, pain is the gap between where you are now and where you really want to be, or it’s the pain of the alternative to your goal, dream, or desire.
If the gap isn’t big enough or the alternative isn’t painful enough, it often means people are too comfortable to act on their biggest goals, dreams, and desires.
Lower pain means lower action.
However, if the pain is high enough, if the gap is big enough, and if the alternative is painful enough…the person will take immense action on their goals and dreams.
Higher pain means higher action.
Often, enough pain is all someone needs to go after what they want in life.
The pain of being lonely is enough for someone to put themselves out there and start dating.
The pain of being poor is enough for someone to strive for financial success.
The pain of being obese is enough for someone to start dieting and exercising.
An example from my life:
The pain of being stuck in an office all day working for someone else was high enough for me to quit my internship in college to do what I really wanted to do (start my own business).
The possibility of experiencing that pain has stayed high enough for nine years since. It’s higher than any pain I’ve experienced in business. This is the pain of my alternative.
Even during my lowest times, the challenges I’ve experienced in business have been better than the pain of working in corporate America (for me).
For others, the pain of building a business might be bigger than the pain of working in corporate America. We all have our own pain preferences, which dictate a large portion of our actions.
This was my pain and it has remained the same.
That’s why, for years, I’ve taken continuous courageous action on my dream: running a location-independent business and traveling around the world, while doing work I find meaningful, fun, and fulfilling.
The pain of my alternative has stayed high enough to inspire long-term action on my deepest desires.
When the pain of the alternative is high enough, it will inspire action on your biggest goals, dreams, and desires.
If the pain is too low, as in the case of the comfort crisis, people don’t take as much action (if any) on their true desires, leaving them less fulfilled, happy, and empowered than they otherwise could be.
If you want to increase your action, increase your pain, not by making life harder on yourself, but by truly understanding the pain of the alternative.
What is the alternative?
The alternative is living a life that isn’t true to yourself.
The alternative is regret on your deathbed, wondering what might’ve happened if you’d gone for it.
The alternative is missing the chance to go from a good life to a great life.
The alternative is missing out on who you could become in the process.
Many people live their lives in avoidance of pain. Yet, at the same time, they’re avoiding their goals and dreams as well.
Don’t avoid pain. Use it as a catalyst toward what you really desire in life.
Think about the pain of the alternative. It will inspire you forward and help you increase your action, as it does for me every day.
Related: Don’t Be Realistic
2. Desire for Happiness (D)
Why do we want anything?
Beyond basic survival, it tends to be about happiness.
We want it because we believe it will make us happy or happier. We anticipate feeling better with it than without it.
We’ll feel better with the health than without it.
We’ll feel better with the relationship than without it.
We’ll feel better with the money than without it.
We’ll feel better with the freedom than without it.
Happiness has become cliche to the point of people feeling afraid to be happy. They’re scared of moving toward things that could make them happier.
They’re afraid of losing it once they get it. They’re afraid of becoming much happier than their family and friends. They’re afraid that the things they want won’t actually make them happy once they get it.
So they’d rather not dream at all.
They’d rather stay in their safe, comfortable cocoons where things are just “okay” or “pretty good” but, again, not great. Not what they really want.
Yet, this desire for happiness, this desire for something more, is one of the primary drivers of our action toward it.
When you decrease your own desire for happiness and for what you want, you decrease your inspiration, your motivation, your enthusiasm, your optimism, and your passion.
You decrease the very energy that can help you fulfill your desire.
“Desire for more” propels humanity forward.
With no desire for more, there would be no innovation. Life would grow stale and rot away. Desire is part of what keeps us alive.
It’s spirit moving through us. It’s life force moving through us.
Desire inspires us to act, to do, to create, to see, to experience, and to become more than we otherwise would.
It is one of the most powerful forces we have available to us, so we must not suppress it if we want to live the lives we truly want to live.
Instead of suppressing your desire, awaken it.
Awaken your desire for more. Tap into your desire for more. Let it run wild and free.
Give yourself permission to dream. Give yourself permission to think bigger – to imagine a bigger and better life for yourself.
As you awaken your desire and tap into it, your capacity for action will multiply.
The more you tap into it, the more it will multiply, and you will begin to take joyful action toward what you want.
It will excite you. It will thrill you. It will make you feel alive.
All from the awakening of your desire.
With the pain of the alternative and your desire for more at your side, you may already have enough motivation to inspire action on your biggest goals and dreams.
However, if you still aren’t taking enough action on what you want, the next part of the formula could be why.
Related: 101 Short, Simple, and Practical Tips for More Happiness
Check out this motivational video I created to tap into your desire:
3. Confidence in Yourself (C)
Even if you’re experiencing enough pain to take action, and even if you have enough desire for happiness, your action may still be limited by something else:
Lack of confidence.
Confidence is believing in yourself, in your goal, and in your dream. It’s your belief that you can and will fulfill your desire.
Insecurity runs rampant in our society. It’s a reality that has held back too many people from expressing the greatness inside them.
People were made fun of as children, told they wouldn’t amount to anything, belittled for their quirks and “weirdness,” and put down by others who themselves lacked confidence and self-esteem (they were just meaner about it).
These children grew up with insecurities embedded in their subconscious. When it came time to decide what they wanted to do with their lives – to go after their biggest dreams or take the road most traveled – most chose the latter.
Not because it’s what they really wanted, but because their own self-perception was so low they didn’t believe they could do it, that they deserved it, or that it was possible for them.
They said, “That’s for rich people, or people who were born gifted, or for the select few. But not for me. I can’t do that.”
This is one of the saddest realities we live in today because if a few things had gone differently in their upbringing, their thinking could have been the opposite.
They could have grown up with a healthy self-image and a confident outlook on themselves and what they can accomplish in life.
They could have grown up believing that some way, somehow, if they stick with it, they can achieve what they desire.
They could have grown up believing that dreams are meant to be achieved by the many, not just the few.
They could have grown up believing in their potential. From that belief, they could have made different decisions that were more aligned with their deepest desires.
All is not lost, however. Far from it.
Your level of confidence is under your control and influence, no matter what occurred in your childhood or any part of your history.
I’ve spent over 10 years working on my confidence. Day in and day out, I’ve worked on my self-confidence and self-esteem.
I developed the confidence to attract girls in college, to become my University newspaper’s sex columnist, to start an online business after college, to close clients, to write my books and self-publish them, to sell most of my stuff and move to Southeast Asia, to start five businesses in nine years, to do my first public speaking event, to be interviewed on podcasts and start my own, to become a coach, to heal my body with my mind, to live in Costa Rica for eight months, and to build a business that inspires people, empowers people, and helps people achieve their dreams.


I developed that confidence. I didn’t grow up with it.
I grew up with tons of insecurities. I grew up with confidence too, but my insecurities were holding me back from being who I really wanted to be and expressing myself freely in the world.
So I worked on them, constantly.
I took step after step out of my comfort zone, reprogrammed my subconscious mind, and shifted my self-image to the point where I saw myself for who I truly am…
Capable.
Powerful.
Confident.
Limitless.
This is who we all truly are when we strip away the falsities and untruths and get to the essence of our being.
We are powerful creators with the ability to achieve even our biggest goals, dreams, and desires.
People are more capable than they think. Lack of confidence is more of a mindset than anything else.
Try this the next time you feel like you can’t do something:
Assume that you are capable of fulfilling your desire, because I can almost guarantee you are.
Believe in your maximum dream outcomes.
As your confidence rises, so will your action. The bigger your confidence, the bigger your actions will be.
But if big actions feel too big for you right now, don’t feel like you need to start there. Start where you are. Start small if you need to and build from there.
Small, consistent, courageous steps outside your comfort zone will begin to skyrocket your confidence, and you will grow by leaps and bounds.
4. Fear of Failure/Criticism/Etc (F)
Human potential has been limited by one thing more than anything else. That thing is…
Fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of criticism. Fear of disapproval. Fear of the unknown. Fear of success, even.
Countless more fears rest in the human psyche, mostly unknown to the individual. Yet, these fears influence their decisions every day.
In Think and Grow Rich, one of the greatest success books of all time and a book that has inspired me massively, Napoleon Hill talks about The Six Ghosts of Fear.
The Six Ghosts of Fear are six basic and common fears most people have, and, to achieve our goals and dreams in life, they must be reduced and eliminated.
They are:
- Fear of poverty.
- Fear of criticism.
- Fear of ill health.
- Fear of loss of love.
- Fear of old age.
- Fear of death.
Napoleon says that by eliminating these fears and all others from your mind, you clear the way to riches. Riches, in this sense, aren’t just material wealth, but the spiritual riches of peace of mind and happiness.
The more a person is afraid of what might happen if they go after their goals and dreams, the less likely they’ll be to take action on them.
If a person is afraid to fail because of what others might think (or what they might think of themselves), they probably won’t take a single step toward what they want.
If a person is afraid of being criticized by others for doing what they want to do, they might not take action or their action will be weaker.
If a person is afraid of disapproval from their family, friends, community, or culture for doing what they want to do in life, they might never do what they want to do, or they’ll take action with anxiety and stress instead of excitement and enthusiasm.
On the other hand, the less a person is afraid of what might happen if they go after their goals and dreams, the more action they will take, the longer they will take action, and the bigger those actions will be, leading to bigger and better results.
If a person is not afraid to fail, they will take the necessary risks to get the rewards they’re seeking, and they’ll do it with a level head.
If a person is not afraid to be criticized by others, they will express themselves freely and confidently in the world, regardless of what others might think.
If a person is not afraid of disapproval from their family, friends, community, or culture, they will do what they want to do in life and live their life true to themself (instead of living a life others expect of them).
Fear may be one of the greatest challenges we face on our journeys, but once handled, we can tap into a level of freedom most people never come close to.
You can tap into the freedom to be you – fully you.
You can tap into the freedom to act in alignment with your deepest desires.
You can tap into the freedom to experience life to its fullest.
And you can tap into a higher state of consciousness that allows you to distinguish true threats from imagined ones.
It’s like a child who’s afraid of a monster under the bed that doesn’t exist.
Shed light on your fears, and they will start to disappear.
Most of your fears are harmless imaginations. Not real threats.
The Action Formula in Action
Probably the biggest leap of faith I’ve taken in my life so far was my decision to start my own business after college instead of going the corporate route.
I was the only person I knew who was thinking about doing this, and there was no precedent for me to follow. I didn’t know any other entrepreneurs, and I didn’t study business in school.
I had to wing it and figure it out, but it was what I wanted more than anything else.
Here’s how I was capable of making this decision (based on The Action Formula):
Present Pain (P) – First, I clearly understood and felt the pain of my alternative. I was an economics major in my senior year. I loved the subject, but after doing an internship for one semester, I realized it was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I didn’t want the time/freedom constraints of an office job and a boss, and I didn’t want to stare at spreadsheets and data all day. I loved economic theory, but economic “real world” work was boring and monotonous to me. This was the pain of my alternative: a life that inhibited my spirit instead of invigorated it.
Desire for Happiness (D) – Second, I knew what I wanted. I had read a book by Mark Manson called Escape Plan during winter break. It taught me how to escape the 9-5 life and travel the world. He discussed many ways to do this, but one tiny section talked about starting your own location-independent online business and linked to a few websites that could teach you how to do it. That tiny section changed my life. This is what I wanted more than anything else. I knew this lifestyle would make me happier than anything else. It had the freedom I wanted, the adventure, the creativity, the impact, and the potential.
Confidence in Yourself (C) – Third, I was 100% confident that I could do it. What reason did I have to be so confident with no prior business experience or training? Simple. I was a confident person in general because I’d been working on my confidence almost every day for 2.5 years before that as a part of my first personal development journey: getting better with women. The confidence I built from getting up the nerve to approach girls, talk to them, and take the initiative in my dating life transferred over to my professional aspirations.
Fear of Failure/Criticism/Disapproval/Etc – Lastly, my fear was low enough for me to make the biggest decision of my life so far. I wasn’t afraid to fail. In fact, it never crossed my mind. In my mind, I was going to do whatever it took, for as long as it took, to achieve my dream. I wasn’t afraid of being criticized by others. My passion, confidence, and enthusiasm actually inspired others to believe in me and cheer me on. I wasn’t afraid of disapproval, either, because even if I didn’t get the approval of my parents and friends, this dream mattered so much to me I would’ve gone for it anyway. And I did.
That was nine years ago.
Since then, I’ve started five online businesses. In 2018, I made it to Thailand, achieved my first big life goal, and lived in and traveled around Southeast Asia for 10 months.
I’ve “failed” a bunch of times. I’ve made a bunch of mistakes (and learned from them).
I’ve been through periods of both depression and elation in my business and my life in general.
I’ve experienced some of the most difficult times of my life, and some of the best times I never could’ve dreamt of when I first got started.
In the ups and downs of pursuing my dream, I’ve lived fully and freely.
And, to be honest, I feel like I’m just getting started. This period of time is the most I’ve ever been aligned with my purpose, my mission, and my calling, and that’s one of the greatest feelings ever.
How to Apply The Action Formula to Your Life
Here are some tips to apply The Action Formula to your life:
Focus on what you can control. You have total control over each of the four variables in The Action Formula. You can make yourself more aware of the pain of your alternatives. You can increase your desire to achieve what you want to achieve. You can increase your confidence and belief in yourself. And you can lower your fear. Things may come up in your life that you can’t control and that slow down or limit your actions. Don’t focus on them. Focus on the variables you can control. As you focus on the variables in the formula, your action will increase and your progress will get faster and faster.
Apply the formula to goals, dreams, and desires you really care about. The reason I’ve been able to persist with the same dream for years on end is because of how much it means to me. The more something means to you, the more persistent you will be in achieving it.
Freedom is attained when you put your happiness first. You can’t make anyone else happy if you don’t make yourself happy first. You must fill your cup up. Give yourself permission to go after what you really want in life.
Footnotes
- Max Roser, Pablo Arriagada, Joe Hasell, Hannah Ritchie and Esteban Ortiz-Ospina (2023) – “Economic Growth” Published online at OurWorldInData.org. Retrieved from: ‘https://ourworldindata.org/economic-growth‘